Here I am. Still here in Camps Bay, Cape Town. Wondering why.
I have never been so bored and irritated in all my life. I’m finding this to be one of the most bizarre experiences ever. Usually I have Dane to take care of and food to make, arguments to have, activities or outings to plan and ignoring to do. Dane runs his mouth non stop, so figuring out how to silence him is always a great way to spend the day. So here I am in a five star hotel, with a full wait staff wanting to cater to my every need … and I’m miserable. I feel lost and trapped all at the same time.
I wander up to breakfast in the gorgeous dining room with an unobstructed view of the coast and its magnificent beauty and my mind wanders to all the things I have come across in the last 72 hrs. Portable poles in hotel rooms, the staff telling me they have googled everyone, and did I know the producer of the show was in playboy? A woman telling me about 12-14 yr. old girls washing windows naked in her neighbors house, how about the man at lunch who that told me his office was robbed at gunpoint and workers hiding under their desks while all the computers were stolen? This place is savage!
So my mind drifts because I have no one left to talk to and nothing really to do and I think why am I here?
And then I talk to Dane!
I’m reminded that I left for this trip right after he turned 18. I have now been gone 4 weeks and he still never ceases to amaze me. God has built a road with a shining light at the end for him to follow. He calls him and draws him to greatness with the most amazing people along the way.
My home is filled with incredible people who are invested in seeing him succeed and grow into an independent successful young man. He’s cooking, he’s doing his laundry and even folding it and putting it away! (I’m not sure my 23 yr. old daughter even does that)
He searches for a job tirelessly and with a dedication only Dane has. He’s now working at Orchard and has set up his paycheck to be automatically deposited into Charles Schwab so he can open his own stock trade account. He is clever I tell you! CLEVER! He’s teasing me as we Skype. He’s taking responsibility for his life! GREAT things are happening! It is very hard being away and not feeling apart of it. But at this moment I have joy, peace and HAPPINESS in my soul!
So I am left with this thought … what if it’s not about me finding purpose here but removing myself so God can do His work there, with Dane, without me?