I’m so tired of waiting for someone to change Dane’s circumstances. Waiting for him to figure out how to attend a class, waiting for someone to hire him, waiting for the seizures to stop, waiting for him to move out.
The past two years have been a whirlwind. Preparing to go to Africa and leave him in LA. He hadn’t had seizures for years, he got a job and was being diligent about taking care of himself independently. I was so proud and saw such a bright light at the end of the tunnel! I would get to live alone with Gary. I would get peace and quiet. I would get my own life outside of Dane!
What I got was 10 weeks in South Africa and a return laced with devastation and despair. The seizures were back and he was a mess. His disconnection with everything had returned. I started all over again from scratch, nurturing his life again. Nurturing when he was sick and whipping him into adulthood when he was well. Sometimes it’s such a tightrope dance that Dane and I do. Last night he says I love/hate you. I said I feel the same. It’s true.
Now here we are, it’s March and he has a shopping compulsiveness that is off the charts. He is bored. How many people shop when they are bored? Probably A LOT. I’m working on replacing the behavior with his art business. I’ve learned that unless I find a replacement behavior that gives him as much stimulation as the compulsion, it will never end. So the launch of Dane Capo Art gave him the stimulation he needed. It was like he was on a good drug. He was confidently gliding through the crowd - so excited that these people came to see him and his art! He worked the room like a master. I saw light again at the end of the tunnel.
We went and had cards made for him to sell at his art show. He sold them all! We’re having reproductions made and some reusable shopping bags that he’ll sell at his booth at the Farmers Market this Friday. I’m doing some of the footwork but having him do alot too. So now we’re back on the tight rope. What can he handle? What is too much? When can I not do this anymore? Will he ever fully invest and take over or will he be on to the next scheme of his? I don’t know. What I do know is life is better than it has been, in many ways. He has come so far from where we started.
Our journey is filled with determination and courage to keep forging ahead. 90 percent of kids with autism are unemployed. 90%!!!!!! They have hopes and dreams and skills and talents beyond measure but 90% of them never get to shine. I am so grateful that even if just for a moment Dane has made his own path and is using his skills and talents to further his independence and his life.